I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
