He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
