I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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