I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize