He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
