Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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