omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
