and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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