In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
