Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
