I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
