sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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