Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I have feelings that need drinking.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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