I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
