Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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