just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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