She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
