Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm passing your future prison.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
