I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
