can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize