bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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