Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
