I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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