I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My ATM looks so different sober.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
