I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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