There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
