I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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