you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
40s are totally the cure
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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