i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize