Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
