this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
