i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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