am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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