who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
