You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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