you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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