New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
