Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
