I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
