Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
