I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
