how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
