I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Terrible idea I love it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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