Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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