how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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