It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
