What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
