Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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