rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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