Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
