my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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