He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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