Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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