we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
