I skipped work to stalk him.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize