Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
