Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
