what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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