Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
