SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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