We won't sleep together?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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