i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
