i just sent this text using only my big toe
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
