Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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