Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
