i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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