he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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