Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can I color on your dick again?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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