Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
