Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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