Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
