in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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