Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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