check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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