Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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