Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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