I'm pants shitting drunk right now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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