Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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