Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
