saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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