He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
