This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Pooping to opera.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
