A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
