I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
