Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
