I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
