i need an iv and a liver transplant
I look better un-naked...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
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