you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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