Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
