Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize