escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
