planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
false alarm, still single
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