That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
