Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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